COPY OF LETTER SENT TO WHITEHOUSE WEBSITE BY MOST EMINENT NIGERIAN SCIENTist DOCTOR DAVID BULAWAYO
Brother Obama am very proud of you to become president of America. Ypu very much made all Africans proud am happy to call you a friend if we will meet one day in the coming years. Am Nigerian you are Kenyan but am happy to call you brother.
MY name is Doctor David Bulawayo most eminent Nigerian scientist. These times I have seen many news of the oil spillages that has very much been happening in your country. In Nigeria we have very many American oil companies causing the oil spills but the people ar ehaoppy. We like to be friends with your great country and the people do not mind these incident. These people are swap peoples from the countryside and am haoppy to inform you that they are now usedto the oil so everyone very much happy and we welcome American oil companies regardless of safety records. Nigeria now has proud record for most oil spills in the world but even prouder record for being most scientific advanced nation to deal with these oil problems
Nigerian government has for many years employed me to develop scientific cure to oil spills. Mr Obama, brother and fellow African I would like you to employ me to cure the oil spillagaes that are happening for you.
I have anaylsed the problems being faced by your country and BP oil company. You are right to blame the british for being to blame my brother. Please you will understand that like your grandfather I have always been tortured by the British. I have been arrested and charged for offences only for going about my normal business. Collecting western union arrangements is not a crime but they treat me like criminal. They have taken my shoes and flown me to Scotland many times to torture and interograte me. Please am like you so very much suitable to be employed by you.
Yes i have ver much anaylysed the situation. What i see first is that the first rule of science is to understand the place you are dealing withg. I see pictures on the news of the underwater oil problems and the british have sent robots down there to do teh job. Wow this is nonsense. A robiot does not feel at home in the water we need to use something that feels at home in the water. You cannot send a robot to a fishs job is what am always saying
The answer is obvious to a man like me with many years experience of oil operations. We will send a team of trained dolphins down into the ocean to close the leak. I have sourced and trained the team and this will be included in my fee if you will employ me. The dolphins can work in the water much better than robots. They will swim down to the oil pipes and close them using a new scientific compound that i have invented. 2300 times stronger than steel. I am storing the dolphins now in London and am electrocutein them every morning to keep themn focuced on ready fpr work.
Please for $250’000 am happy to cure the oil spillage. Western union will not allow you to send 250’00o so will come to America to collect any monies if you employ me. Fee inclues dolphin team and new compound 2300 times stronger than steel that i have invented.
god is blessing you and your family
Scientist Bulawayo
